Short, sharp, but shiny

Today, after nagging my mother for years, I was finally allowed to have my late Grandmother's engagement and wedding rings. As someone who worries about death on a daily basis (no exaggeration), this actually made me perceive things in a better light for once.

Instead of looking down at my hand and feeling deplorable, it only makes me smile thinking about how happy she would have been when she received them. Even at the old age of 21, I still have the potential to surprise myself.

Miss you nana x

83 to one

I read the very unsettling news this morning that there are, on average, 83 graduates applying for one job. I may not be old and wise on the matter, but as a graduate, I've had a few interviews, applied for hundreds of jobs (I'm putting myself in a great light here, I know, a brave move as this blog is on my CV). I know that it's difficult to come straight out of the university bubble and be dropped into the real world for the first time. I know how it feels to have no money and how tempting it is to give up and apply for a job at a call centre. I know it's difficult having little life experience but still maintaining to employers that you're fully capable. So from one graduate to another, here's some little tips for any interviews you may endure on your beautiful journey into the adult world, based on my own experience, unfortunately.

Do...

...stay calm. Even if you've just been informed that your prospective MP employer beat up a journalist, and then you're asked what you think on the matter.

...research. In one interview, when asked to "name five government departments", I replied: "Department of Health, Department of Education, erm...", it was a good moment.

...wear heels. That is, if you can walk in them and you don't have to go up three flights of stairs whilst trying to maintain polite conversation.

Don't...

...go for an interview in a building that has armed guards. Not good for the nerves.

...be too honest. In one interview I was asked "so is this your first interview?" and for reasons that I will never know, I answered "oh god no, I've applied for loads of jobs, anything to get out of Doncaster".

...sound like the most boring person on the planet: "Tell us a bit about yourself", "I just finished university.. erm, I like to write...so...".

If you're a journalism graduate, don't answer a phonecall when you're napping and agree to an interview for a sales job. "Have you any experience in sales?" "No...but my dad does?"

Most importantly: always remember than everything happens for a reason, otherwise you'll go insane.

Fifth estate

After a delightful interview with political cartoonist Martin Rowson, I've had a surge of energy towards my love of satire. he'll be the star of my second issue of my political magazine. Check out the first issue if you haven't already, you've severely missed out!

http://issuu.com/jessicaeee1989/docs/pdfinnnniittt

What the course specification failed to mention

Despite the lack of consistency to my blog posts recently, I anticipate that now is an optimum time to apologetically document my thoughts; something which my blogspot account has become less accustomed to having to put up with for far too long.

As I confusedly plod on through a weird stage of life, being dropped from the student bubble into the real world, I shall turn to my faithful blog simply because it is more enjoyable than applying for jobs.

I have lived in four different houses over the past three years, I find sitting through a whole film very challenging, and I resent my Blackberry simply because I've had it for a year. In short - I get bored easily. But really, we hate change; no matter how much one tries to convince oneself that change is nothing but exciting. I have slowly come round to realise that, after 21 years, I now, for the first time, have to work in order to live. Work, earn, eat. Life really is simple. 

However I find myself, or more specifically, my overactive brain, contemplating much beyond this simple transition. The thought of entering the world of work terrifies me, and not only because I know that sleeping through an alarm comes as naturally to me as breathing. I've always been one to seek comfort in the future, to make up for any present under-achievements. For the past year, I have endured a very poor excuse of a journalism course and battled through numerous hurdles. The thoughts that kept me going always began with 'after uni, when I....', and the world seemed like a brighter place all due to the hope that once I had control of my life, I could steer it towards happiness. 

Well, now the time is here. I have an okay-ish CV, the ability to bluff in interviews, and a world of opportunity. What I didn't foresee was that this is, in fact, the biggest hindrance. The scariest thing I am now facing is that I have the chance to make a life for myself, I possesses the beautiful thing that is control.

What if my habit of a lifetime never ends? What if I continuously project a better future as a relief for the present? I may have learnt a few things about journalism over the last three years, but I have no idea how to accept a job and remove my head from the clouds. I realise that this train of thought is offensively pessimistic, but I am an adult now, and so I must act accordingly. 

A currer balls up

I recently got very excited because a political comment website wanted me to write twice a month for them. So I submitted my second article, full of hope and rose-tinted naivety. Below is the article the website published in my name...

The old bag . . . and her Asprey

Posted: May 1, 2011 by The Currer Ball in Show Business for Ugly People and Ed Miliband

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The Iron Lady’s handbag goes up for sale next month – and it’s expected to fetch a recession-busting £100,000 at auction

Jessica Brown is The Currer Ball

Lady Thatcher couldn’t make it to the Royal Wedding. The ex-PM said that she didn’t fancy playing 2^nd fiddle to Kate. ‘It’s not what I’m accustomed to’, lamented the megalomaniacal octogenarian. In a candid statement, Thatcher shot from her twice-replaced hip, revealing that she’d mailed photocopies of her wedding invitation to Tony Blair and Gordon Brown, just to smear the humiliation of Royal snub all over their faces. She also said that she’s very old and frail these days, and couldn’t make it out the house for the big day. By the sounds of it, the Iron Lady’s demise might not be far away. The champagne’s on ice. I don’t say that to be distasteful or gratuitous, only to call it how it is: literally hundreds of thousands of people will drink to that woman’s death. (Currer won’t be one of them).

But if Thatcher had shown up on Friday, she wouldn’t have sported her famous handbag, once dubbed Maggie’s ‘greatest weapon’ (evidently, by someone who didn’t know what they were talking about). That’s because it’s now in the possession of Christie’s before it goes under the hammer for charity next month. It’s estimated that the black leatherAsprey bag will fetch £100,000. But from where the experts get their estimates, I’ve no idea. Thin air, maybe?

The bag enjoyed the company of a US President (Ronald Reagan), a Soviet Leader (Mikhail Gorbachev), and a convicted fraudster (Thatcher’s son, Mark). In fact, so vital was this accessory to the former Prime Minister, that the word ‘handbagging’ was coined to describe Thatcher’s cordial and kind brand of leadership.

The lucky bidder will be delighted to find out that despite the bag’s modest size, it was always more than sufficient to accommodate its owner’s sense of humanity and compassion.

And here is the article I sent in....

The power could be in your hands

Margaret Thatcher’s ‘greatest weapon’ during her time in office, her handbag, is being auctioned for charity. The black Apsrey bag, it is estimated, will be sold for around £100,000. Described as her ‘symbol of authority’, the bag has seen itself in meetings with a previous US president and Soviet leader. The weapon even led to a new phrase around politicians: ‘handbagging’. 

This bag was seen as her symbol of cabinet solidarity, an icon of female power, and a weapon of authority. However, despite the bag’s return to fame, one small fact has been overlooked.  

As it makes a reappearance into the public eye and the nation’s hearts, it’s time someone offered the following suggestion. Despite rumours it was the iron lady’s source of nails, Margaret Thatcher was the first and only female Prime Minister, and she may well have simply needed a modest place for her lipstick and tampons.  

Just because David Cameron doesn’t swan into meetings with a bum bag, doesn’t mean that Thatcher could fit all of her essentials into her pockets. So, for the poor disillusioned winner of the bag: do not expect to be taken out by magical rays. As you peer inside for the first time. 

All you may find when you win the bag is a few sweet wrappers and hair clips. This is not sexist, it’s fact. No woman, not even the PM, could possibly be in the limelight without knowing a mirror is only a few CMs away, hanging from her shoulder. If only to slyly watch crying children over her shoulder with as she walked past. 

I can take honest criticism, but with not even one word in common, why was the article published in my name?

Why Cameron is full of bullshit

At the No to AV conference earlier this week, almost everything David Cameron said was untrue. Firstly, he descried the  Alternative Vote as obscure. So obscure in fact, that it was the very same system that elected him as leader of the Conservative Party. He said it was unfair, and expensive. The AV election is going to be much cheaper because it is being held on the same day as local elections, and if the vote passes through or not, it is just as expensive.

He said it will lead to candidates winning who ranked third. For the Prime Minister, it’s worrying how little this sentence makes sense. Also, it will make our politics less accountable, apparently. Maybe Cameron can be forgiven for being mistaken here. Under AV, a third of MPs would need to reach out to an increased number of their electorate.

Cameron believes that power should  lie with the people, as he said yesterday, and AV will take this power away. Under AV, everyone’s vote will count, unlike First Past The Post, wrong again Cameron.

Our Prime Minister believes that there should be real accountability between the pledges politicians make and the action they take in Government. Again, I struggle to see how AV will make politicians anything less than more accountable.

One main argument against AV is that it is complicated. For those who can count past one, it is not. And it is patronising for politicians to say otherwise.

AV, Cameron said in his speech, will lead to more coalitions. For every majority Government we have had since 1945, it would have also been a majority Government under AV. Australia, who use AV, have just had their first Coalition for a century. And we’ve just seen how FPTP is not immune to Coalitions.

Cameron believes in one person, one vote. How noble. Under AV, people may cast more than one vote if they wish, in preferential order, but only one vote will count. Unlike FPTP, where votes don’t always count. One person, no vote, in many cases.

Our Prime Minister believes that there is unfairness at the heart of AV, which is damaging for our democracy. That’s funny. Cameron has been linked to Former News of The world editor,Rebeckah  Brooks, and Andy Coulson, who was recently under Cameron’s employment. Both have been under fire in the media for seriously undermining Cameron’s favourite word, ‘democracy’.

He also said in his speech that the second, third or fourth vote of someone who  supports the Monster Raving Loony Party can have their vote count as much as someone who votes Conservative. Basically, this is our Prime Minister saying those who vote for such parties do not deserve their vote to count equally. Did he not say in his speech that everyone is equal and everyone deserves one vote?

Also, he said that the biggest danger is that we wake up on May the 6th with AV. Wrong again. The votes are being counted on May 6th. So unless you sleep in all day, which Cameron might as well do, you wont wake up to a new system on May 6th.

Cameron says that AV is wrong because he feels it in his gut. Clegg, give him some Rennie tablets and then re-evaluate.

The first hopeful look into the future?

Tomorrow is a very special day. It's the anniversary of the first televised leaders' debate, and subsequent launch of Clegg-mania. It's also the anniversary of the sad realisation that we can be fooled.
Just because Clegg managed to smile without looking like a serial killer, and managed to talk without looking like he had descended from pure evil, we loved him. Public discourse and Clegg had a short-lived, lovely marriage, unlike the two parties soon to unite as a coalition.

The coalition formed whilst we sat at home and speculated. It happened behind closed doors, away from news cameras and journalists, and resulted in something we didn't want nor vote for. Since then, we've had a coalition where, due to initial compromises, we've had broken promises and the Government have proceeded to cut spending in a way we don't all agree with. 'Coalition' has been given only negative connotations over the past year.

We, as a nation, have lost hope. Job cuts to front-line services, MPs being jailed for their expenses... we've lost trust in those that control almost every aspect of our lives. This is why we desperately need reform. Not the kind of 'NHS reform' that's basically bad news nicely wrapped in the idea of improvement. We need electoral reform, where the power can be redistributed to us. We need real reform that betters our relationship with our MPs, which in turn means we are better represented in Parliament.

I'm not suggesting that the Alternative Vote will magically solve all that is wrong with our 'democracy', but by voting 'yes', you can look back on a time when we had a corrupt voting system where our MPs made it into Parliament with 3/10 votes, and breathe a sigh of relief that your vote now counts.

What am I like?

I’d like to make an observation, call it unfair or uninformed or anything else you may wish, the beauty of a blog means I can express it anyway!

I've noticed that we seem to have an imbalance with our interpretation towards mental illnesses.  Those suffering from a mental disability can still be acquitted for crimes, whilst sick-minded criminals get lighter sentences for suffering with cannabis induced paranoia.

A couple of years ago I was present in a court case, a memory that will never leave me. It was the sentencing of a man who had brutally murdered his girlfriend. He pleaded guilty due to ill mental health, he said he suffered paranoia due to a history of smoking cannabis, which surely eliminates any remorse he could have felt purely by trying to worm out of his crime with a weak excuse. He, the man of pure evil who greeted his dead girlfriend’s family with a look of smug-ness, was granted the lenience he wished, and was given a reduced sentence.
However, when we’re faced with someone who has a none-fictional, none- self-induced mental disorder, we’re generally less forgiving. Let me back up my daring claim with some examples, in true journalistic fashion.

I read one article recently in a magazine that implicitly treated mental illness in such a way I’m surprised it was published. The article detailed the struggle of a woman who grew up with a father who suffered from bi-polar disorder. He would often leave the house for days at a time and roam the streets, and would indulge in odd behaviour. Eventually, he became homeless, and the woman (daughter) does not refer to this man as her father, but calls him by his name. Basically, because of  his illness, she had written him off as her own father. Fair enough, he had psychotic episodes, but if he had instead suffered from cancer would she act the same way towards him? This man was suffering from an illness, he wasn’t just characteristically an incompetent dad. Yet, because the illness was in the mind, it was regarded as less of an excuse than a debilitating disease that is instead, physical. It’s understandable that someone who came across this man for a brief period of time could be forgiven for prejudging, however this woman had grown up with this man - surely long enough to get to grips with the reasons behind his behaviour?

What spurred me to write this post was something I read in the problem page of a magazine supplement from a broadsheet newspaper yesterday. (Ooops, was that too specific?) The ‘problem’ was that a woman’s husband was suffering from depression, and poor old her, she was fed up. She was advised to get out and see her friends. I pose the same question again, if he was suffering from a physical illness, I’m sure she would never complain, turn the problem on her self, or even worse, write into a newspaper about the problem.

There’s no denying that we treat illnesses of the mind and body differently, there is still a stigma attached to mental illnesses, being in the 21st century just will not suffice, we can’t take our human rights, our democracy and our evolving quality of life for granted - this problem still exists.

Suffering from panic attacks myself - I often get, when recalling an attack ‘oh what are you like!’ As if it’s a personality quirk or an unhealthy vice I often bite into for the fun of it. ‘What am I like?’ I’m like someone with a physical impairment, except mine lies in the chemicals within my brain, where you can’t see. But don’t doubt that mental illnesses are any less significant.

Mental attitude can become paramount in the face of not just physical illness, but anything. Nobody has become famous, successful or rich without the power of their mind, as this is our best and strongest resource.  So you can imagine that when something is anatomically wrong with the mind, it affects people beyond their conscious control.
Someone with depression isn’t moody, someone with bipolar disorder isn’t scatty, and someone with anxiety isn’t afraid. And once we're finished enjoying every other aspect of a healthy democracy, we should tackle this misconception.

Face for radio

As a campaigner for Yes to AV, the alternative vote, you sometimes have to put stupidity over sense. I did this recently as I went on live, BBC local radio to argue with an MP. A student, against an MP. You can see where this is going can’t you? A few days before the dreaded day, I had a phone call from BBC Radio Cumbria, to give me a short briefing. I was told I would get a few seconds to lay out the reasons why we should vote ‘yes; and then would be given the chance to reply to the MP, John Stevenson’s arguments.  

I turned up on the morning of the show with my notes, one page of writing, one condensed version in case I wasn’t allowed notes and would need to hide it in my bra, and I was off. I was thrust straight into the radio studio and told that after a short explanation of what AV is, I would begin. 

As I sat in the studio in front of a mic the size of my face, I watched  longingly as the radio presenter talked with such ease, fluidity and  effortlessness. The political reporter, to the side of me, started off her explanation of AV. However, the pessimist inside me believes that she thought about the worst way possible to make me lose the little focus that I had left in me.  I started going through my argument in my head, it was interrupted by what sounded like a suicidal, drunk bull in a china shop. She had recorded a group of 20 children with musical instruments in order to demonstrate how AV works. Some might say innovative, I say unnecessarily distracting. 

Before I knew it, it was my time to shine, and all I could think to do was to bang my fists on the table and whack my pen on the mic. How else do you follow on from 20 kids with percussion? Fear is a funny thing.

My mind had went blank. Words came out of my mouth, but nothing that my brain had control over. I couldn’t tell you what I said. Well, I can as it’s on iPlayer, but there’s to many ‘erms’ to fit it on the page. I was given the advice to ‘have three main points.’ So off I babbled incoherently, and then I could’ve eaten my microphone when John replied with ‘Well there are three main arguments against AV.’ Damn it.

The presenter demonstrated all that I hate and admire about journalists, which could probably be summed up in three points, you could say. He asked me the most horrible questions you could think of, which I guess is his job. But when you’re a quivering, stuttering radio virgin, he could have been kinder. 

My highlight came when I tried to make the point that some MPs have 3/10 votes, and that in any other job, you would never be employed if you only impressed 3/10 people. However, instead of saying ‘any other job’, I said ‘a real job.’ You can’t make this stuff up. As a (probably quite offended) John continued, I started bouncing in my chair as I had the perfect comeback. He was saying how unpopular AV was and how it’s hardly used anywhere. I was about to shout ‘well your own party uses AV to elect its leaders!’ when the presenter beat me to it and ended the debate. 

Well, even if I didn’t manage to persuade any listeners to vote ‘yes’ at least I accidentally insulted a politician. All in a day's work. 

Nothing is as it first appears

We all know that things usually aren't as they first seem. Whether that's down to actual misinterpretation or the tendency of things to change over time. Despite our general love for phrases, first impressions don't always count.
Friends, colleagues and places are just a few examples of things we can often initially misinterpret. It's easily done. However, are there some things that we never get right? Getting to know someone or something over time usually means we gain an understanding. For instance, let's take my best friend. We've been friends for over a decade, and I see her as more of a sister, really. There's a point you can come to, when you know someone so well, that you can not only recognise their thoughts and understand their actions, but you can see motives behind this, you can see fears and passions that they themselves might not have even realised. However, I think that there are some things that can never become that transparent.
I've known for a while that journalism isn't a career I'm overly fond of pursuing. However, one area of journalism I would love to delve into is health journalism. Specifically, mental health. I've learnt over the past three years of studying journalism that I'm not a great fan of the ideas and morals that drive a lot of it. Hidden agendas, PR, political spin and unreliable sources are a cocktail we're all too familiar with. Not to mention phone hacking.
However, mental health is one area in which I believe the power of journalism could be an opportunity to relieve sufferers and anyone else affected by mental health problems. I believe a lot more could be done to alleviate the myths, stigmas and stereotypes attached to mental health.
If you're wondering how these two trains of thought correlate... then I guess I'm an annoying writer.
Recently I have noticed that there seems to be a belief held whereby people suffering from mental health issues cannot be happy on the outside. This is by no means a reflection on anyone I've talked to recently, as I too would have once thought the same.
It seems, and I don't want to talk too generally, that some of us hold the belief that no one can have a mental health problem and appear to be happy. However, I believe that someone who's going through hell on the inside will try extra hard to make their smile be known, in the hope that it will seep through and sparkle on the inside. Someone with say, anxiety or depression, will not generally be unhappy. Depression is an unhappiness from much deeper within, and I don't believe that it would be something to necessarily show on someone's face. Neither would it be any more likely to hit an unhappy person in the first place. Admittedly, if I found out someone I know suffered from a mental illness, if it was otherwise unclear, I'd be  a bit surprised. But I hope that over time, the media can help to reverse the views we have on mental health, that they have helped to make.
If I did end up in a journalism career, to make one person realise that a person has as much control over a mental illness as they would do a physical one, would make it worth the effort. So for now, I'll keep on smiling.