‘I chose not to choose life: I chose something else’

Have you ever had that feeling, where something's put you in a great mood and it seems to set off good luck like a line of dominoes, and the world just seems to be a beautiful place? Well, I've learnt that that can happen the other way round, too. If something gets you down, that negative perspective seems to magnify all the other insignificant things that can go wrong, things that usually would go by unnoticed. For instance, finding out that I've just bitten into a seriously bruised apple, under normal circumstances, would result in a deformed noise and a 'head meets bin' moment. However, when there's something getting you down, these little things seem to be a bigger deal. I wrote off my whole day as being 'not my day' after this incident. Funnily enough, the day before that wasn't my day either, after realising I'd put my pants on inside out.

Well, I recently bored a friend to death talking though what's on my mind [see 'Scarf Girl' post for reference to said friend], it's made me wonder. Why can't we follow our own advice? Scarf Girl is particularly gifted when it comes to cheering me up and making the world seem like a brighter place again. However, when it comes to her own life, sometimes I wonder, 'if only she could listen her own advice...', but we don't, do we?

Why is it that we can listen to someone else's anguishes and know exactly what to say to gain perspective on the problem, and make it all better again? Whenever someone comes to me with a problem, which, understandably, isn't often, I dismiss them quickly with a 'it's not the end of the world, why let it worry you?', is that because I can see past what's worrying them? Either that or I'm just a bad friend...we'll stick with the former!
Friends can see your problems in the bigger picture, they know you from an outsider's perspective, when all you can do is focus on what's getting you down.                             

If a friend's nervous about something, I can tell them to calm down, tell them that they'll be fine and to enjoy themselves, and I find myself believing what I'm saying. However, if it were me suffering with the nerves, I'd be hopeless at calming myself down.                 

Scarf girl's recent consolation and advice has made me question- who do we listen to? We make decisions every day, every hour, even if most of them only consist of deciding when exactly to breathe next, they're still important. Sometimes, to make a decision, is to lead yourself down a completely different path full of other decisions, and sometimes, certain choices stay with you the rest of your life. How do we know when to listen to ourselves, and when to trust the instinct of others?
Sometimes it's hard to pinpoint the exact decisions that shape us. Many people are angered by homeless people that stare up at you, longingly asking for some change. People say 'it's their own fault, they made the decision to be homeless', and as much as that point of view angers me, it is kind of true. There must have been some point in their lives they thought 'I'm going to put alcohol before everything else', or 'I'm going to spend all of this money on drugs'. And whilst it isn't their fault, they have made decisions along the way that probably haven't helped their situation.                            

I've been researching, today, the reasons as to why people have such trouble being monogamous. I've found that, as nice an idea it is, it's not actually a natural act to stay faithful. So, basically, the perfect example of when we follow what other people demonstrate as being the right thing to do. The decision to decide what should influence your decisions is a decision in itself. With so many voices and views in the world, sometimes it would be nice to be told who to listen to.

Monogamy or just misery?

One of my worst nightmares, amongst, strangely, losing all of my teeth, is becoming 'that' girl. You know, the nagging, moaning crazy girl that sends any man running to the hills. But, recently, I've been wondering, do women get unfair blame?
I'm not making any of my own assumptions here - I'm referring to jokes kindly already thought up by men. Jokes that even stand up comedians always seem to revert back to once they've run out of original material. One example is Lee Evans, he spent about half an hour telling jokes about his wife – in a very stereotypical way, only to then say at the end of the show that he loves his wife and didn’t mean any of it. But what is the appeal of sexist jokes? Are they funny because they’re true?
What I’m talking about, is the stereotypical (and arguably, quite mythical) woman - the green eyed monster that has mops for arms, vacuum cleaners for feet and dishcloths for hands. Her vocabulary only includes phrases such as 'use a coaster', 'eat that over the sink' and 'you better not come home drunk'. And men seem to think that this side of women seems to surface from just a few matrimonial months, up to the sweet release of death. It's funny how this monster of a woman only seems to emerge once they're in a relationship.
However, is this stereotype not more to do with the average male than the average female? I don't mean to say that men would ever show such behaviour. No, what I mean is; is it not men that have created this stereotype in order to overshadow their own laziness? Like cementing a crack in the pavement, and the real issues aren’t dealt with – like the probability that women only nag when there is reason to.
Now I'm not talking about every man, of course, however, women are constantly at the centre of sexist jokes - but is it really that funny? It seems that females have unwillingly taken the blame for men’s untidiness. Isn't there someone out there who's considered the fact that it might be men that drive women to be like this - otherwise, they would live in a complete mess?
I don't think there's one women out there that hasn't been referred to before as the 'ball and chain', and there aren’t many men out there that haven't uttered the phrase ' better get back before the missus gets angry' - when the truth, really, is that they don't think they could hack another pint.
Hopefully the majority of men are not like this - as I'm certain it's more to do with the men that drive women to be this scary stereotype. I’m not being generalising, or old fashion or sexist – it’s simply an observation that I have seen resounding in several cases.
Women are always made out to be the fun suckers - but maybe it's time for the men to become the butt of jokes, after all, there are quite a few that are arseholes...