I hate lies, I hate melons, and I hate heights. Oh, and those things that look like raisins but they're yellow. Apart from that, there isn't much that I particularly dislike. Except for one thing, that is, I hate change.
And just to confuse the matter - I also love change. I love that feeling when something's new, whether it's a new house, a new friendship, or even just a new pair of shoes. We all love change - it's the reason we go on holiday, why we shop...
However, with change, there's inevitably always going to be something left behind, something to mourn.
Every time I spend more than a few nights home from university, I always think about life before I left. Most things have changed for the better since then. However, it's the loss of control that I dislike. The fact that some things change beyond your control.
I always want what I can't have. And I want the past - because I can't have it. If you look back on the changes that have occurred in your life, even the ones that were for the best - don't you look back on them in a better light?
We all go through phases in life, living in a particular place and surrounded by certain people. Even if you just swap to a different breakfast cereal, we all experience change. And for some reason, no matter how bad a phase in your life may seem at the time, once it's changed, there's a part of you that wants it back...or is that just me?
It's just annoying how change is the one thing that you can't...well, change. Ironically, we happen to be living at the point of the fastest rate of change the world has ever seen, I don't need to tell you that.
I read an article, yesterday, about change. The author had documented her realisation that she could be happier, and what changes she made to seek a higher level of happiness. She wrote about her year-long quest to become a happier person.
The article started promisingly, describing how she looked at academic research on the meaning of happiness. However, just as I could feel the familiar tingle of inspiration... the article ended with " I decided that for me, the thing that made me the happiest was de-cluttering my house"...great.
There was an anti-climax if there ever was one. And not just because I don't like cleaning. (You know when people joke about being allergic to cleaning? Well I actually am! The dust sets off my asthma!...honest).
Anyway, despite the lack of an explosive and thought-provoking ending to the article, I still decided that I need to, for the first time, actively seek change.
Like the geek that I am, I wrote down a list of reasons why I don't think I'm as happy as I could potentially be. I then listed how I could change that. And in order to force myself to do something about it - I'm going to blog about my quest to happiness, because then if I fail, a 'umm...yeah I gave up, sorry' blog post would be unthinkably embarrassing. (So my advice - if you ever want to achieve something: blog about it).
On my list, I have to say 'yes' to more things. I have to approach situations more positively (easier said than done), I have to try and become less sensitive towards what people say (I'm a wimp), try to feel good about myself (also easier said than done) and my favourite, 'seek adventure'. So watch this space. You never know, one day soon I may even write a blog post that doesn't make you want to kill yourself after reading it.
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