Face for radio

As a campaigner for Yes to AV, the alternative vote, you sometimes have to put stupidity over sense. I did this recently as I went on live, BBC local radio to argue with an MP. A student, against an MP. You can see where this is going can’t you? A few days before the dreaded day, I had a phone call from BBC Radio Cumbria, to give me a short briefing. I was told I would get a few seconds to lay out the reasons why we should vote ‘yes; and then would be given the chance to reply to the MP, John Stevenson’s arguments.  

I turned up on the morning of the show with my notes, one page of writing, one condensed version in case I wasn’t allowed notes and would need to hide it in my bra, and I was off. I was thrust straight into the radio studio and told that after a short explanation of what AV is, I would begin. 

As I sat in the studio in front of a mic the size of my face, I watched  longingly as the radio presenter talked with such ease, fluidity and  effortlessness. The political reporter, to the side of me, started off her explanation of AV. However, the pessimist inside me believes that she thought about the worst way possible to make me lose the little focus that I had left in me.  I started going through my argument in my head, it was interrupted by what sounded like a suicidal, drunk bull in a china shop. She had recorded a group of 20 children with musical instruments in order to demonstrate how AV works. Some might say innovative, I say unnecessarily distracting. 

Before I knew it, it was my time to shine, and all I could think to do was to bang my fists on the table and whack my pen on the mic. How else do you follow on from 20 kids with percussion? Fear is a funny thing.

My mind had went blank. Words came out of my mouth, but nothing that my brain had control over. I couldn’t tell you what I said. Well, I can as it’s on iPlayer, but there’s to many ‘erms’ to fit it on the page. I was given the advice to ‘have three main points.’ So off I babbled incoherently, and then I could’ve eaten my microphone when John replied with ‘Well there are three main arguments against AV.’ Damn it.

The presenter demonstrated all that I hate and admire about journalists, which could probably be summed up in three points, you could say. He asked me the most horrible questions you could think of, which I guess is his job. But when you’re a quivering, stuttering radio virgin, he could have been kinder. 

My highlight came when I tried to make the point that some MPs have 3/10 votes, and that in any other job, you would never be employed if you only impressed 3/10 people. However, instead of saying ‘any other job’, I said ‘a real job.’ You can’t make this stuff up. As a (probably quite offended) John continued, I started bouncing in my chair as I had the perfect comeback. He was saying how unpopular AV was and how it’s hardly used anywhere. I was about to shout ‘well your own party uses AV to elect its leaders!’ when the presenter beat me to it and ended the debate. 

Well, even if I didn’t manage to persuade any listeners to vote ‘yes’ at least I accidentally insulted a politician. All in a day's work.