Frying my brain.

As a busy student, with a life full of priorities and dealines, I found myself in bed the other day, watching an interview with Stephen Fry. I've never really paid too much attention to him before, but I realised, he has such a poetic and thought-provoking way with words. And something inparticular that he said has really stuck in my mind :




"One of my greatest weaknesses is my need to please people"

Now, I've always wondered this about myself, and questioned whether it's reason for my own downfalls in life. (Probably the only thing Mr Fry and myself could possibly have in common). However, is it not a bit immodest to admit this? I find that I often have to refrain from saying things that could be perceived as offensive, keeping my thoughts to myself. But does there come a time when it's better to stop worrying about pleasing other people?

I've often  found myself in awkward situations where someone speaks their mind, no matter how offensive it may sound. However, whilst I may think something, if I know it's not going to be receieved well, or it isn't  a particularly nice thing to say, I will withhold from doing so. Not due to morals or a want to be nice, but because I don't have the guts.
I sometimes fantasise about having the courage to say to someone "Shut up, you're ugly," or, you know, something along those lines... but I physically couldn't. And that wonderful question, 'are you sure you don't mind?', always leaves me answering with a high-pitched 'not at all', through gritted teeth.
The fact that Fry referred to this trait as a personality default has made me worry, however, as it makes my qualms about it see less irrational. I do, to some extent, admire people that can just speak their mind. However, as a person who is easily offended , I can see how these kind of people can be misinterpreted quite easily.
Is it that black and white? Are people either really honest, or good at hiding undesirable thoughts? Fry comes across as a genuinely nice person, but does that mean that he has no backbone? Surely, it's unhealthy to have opinions about someone that you constantly just keep to yourself?
Or is it less to do with the person and more dependent on the situation? Are there times in life that we should just say how we feel?
I spent the weekend with a lot of Northerners, more specifically, Geordies (long story). I realised that, without sounding too generalising, they do seem to be very honest and upfront. Does this mean that this kind of behaviour is one which can be learnt? I might just have to learn to accept that this is the way I am, however if I am to have any hope, maybe I should try not to put too much emphasis on agreeing with Fry, who also said:




"Sometimes there just isn't enough vomit in the world"