Nihon no yume.

I went on a date tonight. With my friend/housemate/fellow journalist Lauren. We went to a Japanese restaurant to contemplate life and throw soy sauce all over ourselves (the latter part of that was just me, naturally). As I talked about my plans to live in Japan (something I do far too often), I got to thinking. What if it never happens? What if I'm bound to the north of England for the rest of my life?
Yesterday, as I walked down my street and saw someone I admire, who I won't name, looking back at me through a window - I think I experienced one of the worst feelings there is to experience - reality. What a horrible, horrible thing that is.
I live in a student house (obviously, being a student and all) so my street isn't exactly paradise.And someone I aspire to be like lives on the same street as me. And while that's good for him, it wouldn't be for me. Okay, so he probably has a lot more inside his house (and wallet) than I do but still.
I want to live in the kind of place that people go on holiday to, a place that makes people happy. Not the kind of place that sucks the life out of you, the kind of place with a road, a pavement and a lampost. I want beautiful things, beautiful Japanese things.
It's made me think; why is there so many people that are happy where they are? People that could go to the other side of the world if they wanted to but are happy down a little street in Lincoln? These kind of people, are they the type that can be content with life and that's it? I think I've already figured out that I'll never be completely happy.
I just can't comprehend how someone can live in a house, on a street, and have a job. And that's it. Okay, so almost everyone does that, so it obviously can't be that difficult to do.
As bad as this sounds, someone said to me last week that they had what felt like a black hole, one that they needed to constantly fill, but it was impossible to do. I found myself secretly agreeing with him. He was talking about his addiction to alcohol.
Do I need to go to the other side of the world because there's something missing? What is it that everyone has that I don't? If you're reading this -please enlighten me, you can find me in Tokyo. I'll be in a Sushi bar, talking about my dreams to go elsewhere.