Apart from 'how drunk are you?', one question I get asked regularly at University is were I'm from. And, this may sound pretty stupid, but I don't really know how to reply, so I usually list a cocktail of places and move quickly on with the conversation. I mean, I live in Lincoln. But I also kind of live in Doncaster still (much to my disgust), but I was born at the opposite end of the country, and I lived somewhere else in between, too. And I can definitely see myself fondly calling London or Japan my home when I'm older.
It seems that the majority of people have lived in their home town until they came to University, whereas I just feel like a little lost soul sometimes, who doesn't really belong anywhere.
People from the North and South of England mostly seem to be proud of where they're from, but although I was born in and spent my childhood in Newcastle, I think I left my identity there when I moved away. Just listen to me speak, my accent and my vocabulary are mixtures of North, North East, Yorkshire...
In England, there are obviously certain stereotypes stuck to most places, and telling people where you're from can often lead to prejudice, good and bad. There are certain presumptions made of Northerners and Southerners, certain characteristics that are actually, usually quite true.
I think that I've missed out a little. My childhood was sporadically spaced out all over the place, there's no one place that gives me the warmth of familiarity and that 'home' buzz. And I think that that's a feeling everyone needs once in a while. I've always wondered what it must be like to live in the same place all your life before you go away to University. The feeling you get when you go home must be great - I'd give anything to go back to the house I first lived in. Or even to walk past my nursery school. To some people, these places are easily accessible, but to me they're a distant memory.
Some people have friends that they've known since they were a baby, but I don't have this kind of relationship with anyone. My longest friendship is roughly 8 years, and to me, that's an achievement. I can't comprehend what it must be like to live in the same place you grew up in.
My memories of early childhood seem so far away, because they are. When something happened so long ago, and so far away, it almost makes it seem unreal, it makes my childhood seem like it never happened. I'm sitting here now, in my room, listening to the squeaking of a hamster wheel downstairs in my rented student house, and it's real. But in 20 years time, when I'll (hopefully) have been all over the word - will I look back on my University years and find it hard to believe that they actually took place?
I think that having a sense of identity is essential, so does this make me less of a person? It might do, but I say 'cous cous' unlike anyone else, so therefore I'm special. And if that's took living in five different houses, so be it.
Identity is more than just who you are. People generally have 9 or 10 different identities, I think. I mean, you act a different way around our friends to how you would around your parents, and that's different from how you would be around younger people, which is different from how you would be around your boss. They're all you, you're just a polygon :P also, speaking of home, I think a little more scope is needed - it's true that many many people feel attached to a single place but that doesn't mean there's no "home" per se. You might not have a single place to attach yourself to, but if a southerner comes along, you're northern - if a Scot or Welsh person turns up, you're English - if a foreigner arrives, you're English - if there's an American, you're European - and if martians end up invading, you're from Earth!
ReplyDeleteOops,
ReplyDelete"if a foreigner arrives, you're British" *
It's funny, I was born in Edinburgh but never lived there, yet because of the way I was brought up, it's still where I consider home
ReplyDelete