Circle.

Coming back home for Summer, I already have seen it as a difficult challenge. It's given me perspective on my life at University - and made me realise that it's there that I am completely happy. Last night, I walked home from seeing a friend I haven't seen for a year. I realised, that I was walking home the exact same way the last time I'd seen her, about a year ago. I then remembered roughly 2 years ago, walking the same route again.
I tried to remember what I was feeling this time 2 years ago;I had recently experienced the loneliest time of my life, I had little friends, and made no effort to change that, even though I was very unhappy.
That night, I was walking home with a spring in my step(more than usual) and I remember vividly how I'd felt. I had just spent the afternoon with friends, and it was that very walk home that I realised my life was coming together, but that it was fragile and I needed to make efforts in order to stay happy - and I vowed never to take friendships for granted again. And then, last night, I realised that I have never broken this vow.
No matter how many people I'm with, or what I'm doing, I really appreciate and savor it. Maybe this is why I can say that University has made me truly happy.
If I hadn't had such a bad experience growing up - if I had never had to feel true loneliness before and watch other people have fun, would I be this way now?
I'm so thankful for every memory I share with friends - but is just because I know what it feels like to be the onlooker?
Do we need to have lost something before we can really appreciate it?
I'm sure you've had a headache before - and when you do I bet you think about how good it'll be once the headache's gone - and then as soon as it's gone - you take your analgesia for granted once again; is that a safe assumption? Thought so.
However, if your headache lingered every day for a whole year - once it disappeared I'm sure you'd be very grateful from then on. Is this why memories always seem better than the present? Think of your last holiday - I'm sure you think it was amazing, and you hope to have holidays just like it. Whenever you smell the sweet, life-saving scent of sun cream, you get a nostalgic twang. Another safe assumption?
However, this memory that you look back at so fondly... was it really that great? Or do you just yearn after it because you don't have it anymore? It's like a vicious circle - we can only really learn to appreciate something...once it's gone.Just something to think about... don't give yourself a headache, though.



'Give me the dust of my father
Stand on the face of the ancients
Bare the secret flesh of time itself

Follow me
I've come so far, I'm behind again
Follow me
I wish so hard I'm there again
Follow me

All that I wanted were things I had before
All that I needed I never needed more
All of my questions are answers to my sins
All of my endings are waiting to begin

Follow me
I've seen so much I'm blind again
Follow me
I feel so bad I'm alive again
Follow me'